first reflection

I’ve never written an album review before.  I’ve never had a passion for it.

However, laying here in my bed at 1 AM, Thanksgiving/Black Friday, it occurs to me that I should.

Currently, I’m listening to one of my favorite screamo records, Tracing by innards.

It’s a killer of an album.  It bounces from left to right, never stopping in its attack on the senses and giving you one of the happiest sing-along feelings you’ve ever had.  All stops are pulled out, all edges looked over, swept neatly, and touched.  Pyschotic guitar ramblings run rampant as the noodling consumes you and takes you into a trance like state.  It finishes out your day for you, packs your bags, and sends you on a journey through life.  The intricacies are astounding; the cymbals pound like the sound of class breaking, reminiscent of a Big Black record, except not at all.  It doesn’t fit the screamo “cliché” sound; while the lyrics seem personal, they’re not gloomy or, dare I say, sappy.  They’re immense and impressive, reaching new heights from song to song.  If shoegaze influences weren’t already obvious, a track title like “S.Gze” (my favorite song on this release) gives it away.  I see days spent listening to MBV, Slowdive, Drop Nineteens?  I see days of Fort Worth traffic spent listening to a mixture of screamo/shoegaze to help you through the day, to uplift you.  All those emotions are churned out on this record, though not in a self-loathing manner similar to I Hate Myself, Saetia, and the other usual screamo/emo bands.  The emotions are churned out, altered, hung up to dry, and then slaughtered in a Texas studio.  They’re torn to shreds just to be revealed again in a new way to the listener.  Tracing is off-the-wall, crazy material, consumed by emotions.  I recommend it to anyone and everyone, screamo fan or not.

That’s enough for tonight.  That felt good; tonight is the first time I’ve passionately written on my own in months.  I miss the feeling.  Maybe I’ll get around to doing more of these “reviews”.  I hate that word.  Let’s call them “reflections”.  That’s suitable, afterall, that’s what they are, aren’t they?  The word is much more personal than “review”.  “Review” sounds like something you have to do.  Too concrete, such a cold, boring word.  That’s the beauty of writing on your own.  You can choose what to do, there’s no boundaries.  I made it a goal to not use any “bad words” in this review, namely to demonstrate that I can do so and still write well.  Sometimes, I feel as if they taint an artist’s work; they make it seem like it took less effort than it actually did; in a way, it seems half-hearted.  I’m sure there’s passion in those words, but right now, I’m not finding any.  That’s not to say I never will, as life is full of exploration and progress.  I’m beginning to take every chance that I have at self-improvement and act on it, to better myself as an individual, and more so, to influence those around me, and those younger.  Maybe it’ll do some good.  I’m learning about self-worth, and my self esteem has risen slightly, I think.  That’s what I’ve observed over the past few weeks.  Anxiety is less tedious.  Being comfortable is not an ultimate goal, though.  Change is.  Change must be.

To end this reflection, I’d like to say that I enjoy screamo the most when it’s filled with diversity, whether that be via lyrical exploration, (reacting with protest towards) creativity, non-screamo genre influences, and even geography.  All of that counts for me.  Also, I’d like to express gratitude towards innards for helping me overcome the writing block that’s been on me for quite a while now.  Maybe I’ll get back to writing cryptic poems, maybe I’ll venture to short stories, I don’t know.  Only time will tell.  In conclusion, tell your friends that you love them, set an example for all, and change.  It’s required for all.

Bye bye.